There once was a mom who had 4 children. Each of her children had 3 children and each of their children had 3 children and so on and so on for generations. The seeds that the first mom sowed (good or bad) continued to be deposited, grow and flourish in EVERY life that followed in her family and to EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. that those childrens lives touched.
Does a mom's work matter? Are changing diapers and cleaning up bodily fluids while constantly washing dishes and doing laundry matter? I'd say it does.
...Because it's in those moments that life happens.
It is in those precious moments where a hug says "You are loved." It's in the moments of giving your all and sowing into the lives of little ones, where truth (or lies) can penetrate their hearts.
What you do here and now matters! Moms sometimes feel like their roles are insignificant but your influence is the most powerful tool you have. Whether you have one child or ten your influence through them will go on for generations.
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It's often hard to remember this in the nitty gritty of everyday life. How do you remind yourself that it all matters?
Daddy's Little Princess
Do you remember when your daddy was the world to you?
I watch my little girl, dressed in full princess attire, run to her daddy saying “daddy, daddy, I’m a princess.” She melts into his arms as he confirms her statement as true.
His affection for her, while always there and never changing, is now evident all over his face. He holds her close for as long as he can get her to be still and I know…I know he would move mountains for her. He would battle giants and shield her to protect her in every way possible. He would give her all that she needs and shower her with good gifts.
As I look into the eyes of my husband playing the role of daddy I see God. Not the God that some believe is distant and unconcerned but the Daddy God… our Abba Father. He gave us daddies to give us a glimpse of His heart...
All Of The Best Ones Are From Me
No real person has the right to claim that all of the best gifts are from their heart, creativity, thoughtfulness and given out of love. But God does. He did:
Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. James 1:17
This morning I was reflecting on the good and perfect gifts in my life. A short version of the list would be something like this:
Parents who led me to Christ and live for Him.There are so many more and I am overwhelmed by the thought of them. Even the things that didn't seem like gifts at first: pain, difficulty, loss, and impossibilities; He turned them into good and perfect gift giving opportunities. I've never had a need that wasn't met. Not only that but God does far more than I could even think to ask for.
Perfect (and amazing) peace during a labor when my son's premature birth was imminent. And afterwords when the pain of his loss was more than I could bear.
The surprise of a check with more zeros on it than I had ever held before when we had been so tight but believed we were supposed to put our 3 oldest in a private school.
A husband who loves me, through God's strength, as Christ loves the church.
Joy as my daughter lifts her hands high in surrender to God.
Chains around my heart that fall when truth shines its light on them.
Friends who trust me with their secrets and don't share mine.
God using the gifts He's given me to bless others.
It's amazing that all of the good gifts come from my Daddy God who says I am priceless and He loves to lavish His love on me. This is how I know He will always be faithful...because that's all He's ever been.
What are some of the best gifts you've been given? Did any of them not seem like gifts at first but turned out to be good and perfect?
I Want to Need Grace
I was having a rough day a couple weeks ago. I was beating myself up about not having gotten things right once again. You see, I set out to live life, first as a wife and then as a mom, perfectly. I hadn't stopped seeking perfection. I have been known to constantly be looking for the best, no perfect, way to do things. Not that I ever thought this was a bad thing. I thought I was pursuing the best in life. But in reality it was a prideful attempt to be self sufficient and, well, perfect.
During that rough day I just knew God was trying to work something out of me. Honestly it was a bit agonizing. When God shows you an area of your life that you are rejecting Him in it can be an opportunity for all kinds of guilt and condemnation to rest on you. But how can you allow that when He's just wanting you to let go of the load you are carrying and open your arms wide to grace? He said "You refuse my grace..." I mess up and I beat myself up because I should have gotten it right. Back on to trying again...trying harder...
Seeking perfection is denying grace... I know that now.
Let me back up here and say that somewhere, way back in my childhood, I decided that I didn't like to be wrong. I wanted to be right 100 percent of the time. If you ever discovered a fault or a reason I was wrong, well, let's just say I wouldn't go down without a fight. My poor parents had to endure this as I was a teenager and my husband has had to endure it since.
For some reason letting anyone see even an ounce of imperfection in me was so humiliating for me. This would even lead to me lying or basically covering up my failures or imperfections. I believe there was a root of shame in my life that the enemy kept pointing to over and over every time I messed up saying "You can't let this be exposed. You are supposed to be a good girl." Once God set me free from the shame He still needed to deal with my pride. And pride is a BIG one! Fortunately nothing is too big for God and He is faithful.
The short story is that God has been waiting to trade my shame, my pride and my failures for loads of grace. For too long I rejected grace. I rejected the idea that others could show me grace and most of all I rejected that God would show me grace.
Sometimes people reject grace because they are convinced what they have done is too bad for God to forgive. In my case I knew I was forgiven but I was rejecting grace as a means to live by. The reality is that grace is what gets me as close to perfection as I can get: by living life through God's strength.
I now WANT to NEED grace.
It is a much free-er place to live where you can mess up and know that God never expected you to get it perfect. In fact, it is part of the journey and seeking perfection is to never live in the moment.
Don't we as wives and moms need to know this {live in this} place of grace? We often keep our eyes glued on each other and try our hardest to best one another and do it all perfectly. Some of us gave up a long time ago when we got a dose of reality and decided perfection would never happen. Others of us are still hoping that perfect day is just around the corner. Wherever you are I promise you that the only way to get there is by surrendering to grace.
I'm starting to believe that there is a secret group of us women that need freedom from our denial of grace. Are you living in grace? Have you broken free from the chains of perfection? Are you trying to fight your way out? Do you think there are things from your childhood that are lingering that have caused you to seek perfection and deny grace? I'd love to hear your story wherever you are at.
What if He Doesn't?
What if He doesn't? What if He really doesn't care, as the veiled thoughts that invade your head suggest? What if your need will not be met and you cannot be taken care of?
What if those you love leave you or all you have is lost? What if?
What if He doesn't prove faithful and doesn't provide and won't heal and really isn't even there to begin with?
Have you ever seen Him faithful? Has He ever come through before? Then why wouldn't He now? Did He loose sight of you somehow? Has your need and your desperate plea escaped His range of hearing?
Has He suddenly began to count the wrongs you have committed and left you to yourself? Is it about you at all?
Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow but he will prove Himself faithful to you. He turns His ears to our cries. He peels the heavens back and thunders to our rescue. He lays the foundations of the earth bare to rescue us from the raging seas.
...He even forgives our doubt...He even unveils deceived eyes...
He is faithful. His Word says He is and He cannot be anything less. Faithful. True. For me and for you.
What if those you love leave you or all you have is lost? What if?
What if He doesn't prove faithful and doesn't provide and won't heal and really isn't even there to begin with?
Have you ever seen Him faithful? Has He ever come through before? Then why wouldn't He now? Did He loose sight of you somehow? Has your need and your desperate plea escaped His range of hearing?
Has He suddenly began to count the wrongs you have committed and left you to yourself? Is it about you at all?
Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow but he will prove Himself faithful to you. He turns His ears to our cries. He peels the heavens back and thunders to our rescue. He lays the foundations of the earth bare to rescue us from the raging seas.
...He even forgives our doubt...He even unveils deceived eyes...
He is faithful. His Word says He is and He cannot be anything less. Faithful. True. For me and for you.
Okay With Just Purposeful
We all have hopes and dreams of what we would like to become. The wife that always anticipates her husbands needs and he cannot praise her enough. The mom who is patient and understanding and spends her days making her home a peaceful and joyful place. It would be nice to get it all right everyday wouldn't it?
I get it wrong too often. Sometimes even when I think I am doing it right my husband or one of my children will share with me a way that I haven't met a need or missed hearing their heart.
And it breaks my heart that I fell short for them.
Somewhere along the road of life I bought a lie of needing to be what only God can be to those around me. It's called perfect.
God knows my husband's and childrens needs and only He can meet all of them. If I got it right every time then I could be standing in the way of their need for Him. I don't want a family that is so dependent on me that they don't need a good, loving God. I certainly don't want children who think I did it all right and then cannot live up to that lie when they are parents themselves.
I don't have to change a thing though because I naturally fall short. I cannot be perfect and I really have to be okay with just purposeful. With a heart that is bowed in submission to the Holy Spirit I can trust Him to continue to work on me and change my heart to be more like His.
And I can lead my children to His feet when anyone disappoints them. Even me.
I get it wrong too often. Sometimes even when I think I am doing it right my husband or one of my children will share with me a way that I haven't met a need or missed hearing their heart.
And it breaks my heart that I fell short for them.
Somewhere along the road of life I bought a lie of needing to be what only God can be to those around me. It's called perfect.
God knows my husband's and childrens needs and only He can meet all of them. If I got it right every time then I could be standing in the way of their need for Him. I don't want a family that is so dependent on me that they don't need a good, loving God. I certainly don't want children who think I did it all right and then cannot live up to that lie when they are parents themselves.
I don't have to change a thing though because I naturally fall short. I cannot be perfect and I really have to be okay with just purposeful. With a heart that is bowed in submission to the Holy Spirit I can trust Him to continue to work on me and change my heart to be more like His.
And I can lead my children to His feet when anyone disappoints them. Even me.
I Am For You!
Ever have "one of those days?" One of those days where you feel about as worthless as a dirty rag? Where all that you have done wrong stares at you and screams in your face "Can you do anything right?"
Of course it is the voice of the accuser who knows you have been made righteous but if he can just get you to believe that you aren't... that you don't have strength from someone far more mighty than you...
And so the morning after "one of those days" I hear a powerful whisper. It says "I am for you!"
He is for me! {Romans 8:31}
When I mess up and life is pressing in, He is for me!
And I read about what He did for David (Psalm 18:6-19) and I know He is saying "I'll do it for you too!"
He parted the heavens and came down to rescue me. Me?! He fought off my enemies and laid bare the foundations of the earth to reach down and rescue me out of deep waters. All because He heard my cry for help.
"He led me to a place of safety and rescued me because He delights in me." Ps. 18:19
God didn't just do this for David. God is the same yesterday, today and forever. He delights in the details of the lives of the godly and I am sure He did this for me. He'll do it for you too!
Psalm 18 (NLT)
6 But in my distress I cried out to the LORD; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry reached his ears.7 Then the earth quaked and trembled; the foundations of the mountains shook; they quaked because of his anger.8 Smoke poured from his nostrils; fierce flames leaped from his mouth; glowing coals flamed forth from him.9 He opened the heavens and came down; dark storm clouds were beneath his feet.10 Mounted on a mighty angel, he flew, soaring on the wings of the wind.11 He shrouded himself in darkness, veiling his approach with dense rain clouds.12 The brilliance of his presence broke through the clouds, raining down hail and burning coals.13 The LORD thundered from heaven; the Most High gave a mighty shout.14 He shot his arrows and scattered his enemies; his lightning flashed, and they were greatly confused.15 Then at your command, O LORD, at the blast of your breath, the bottom of the sea could be seen, and the foundations of the earth were laid bare.16 He reached down from heaven and rescued me; he drew me out of deep waters.17 He delivered me from my powerful enemies, from those who hated me and were too strong for me.18 They attacked me at a moment when I was weakest, but the LORD upheld me.19 He led me to a place of safety; he rescued me because he delights in me.
Be blessed dear friends!
How to be the Best Mother Ever {Exposing a Lie that Keeps Us From Becoming the Best}
One morning I woke up early to my baby's cries of hunger. The sun had yet to appear and I was less than thrilled about the idea of getting up. At the time I had 4 children ages 5 and under and simple things like showers were hard to accomplish in a day. Sleep seemed almost as hard to catch up on as the never-ending piles of laundry.
Begrudgingly I tossed aside the covers and went to nurse my little one. She fell asleep quickly with a full tummy and I could hardly wait to get back to my cozy bed for a couple more hours of sleep. Before I made it back to the bed I had this thought, this longing, that had been stirring up more and more in me lately. "I miss you God." I thought. "I wish I had time to spend with you."
Fortunately for me I had heard from countless sources at this point that God understands what it is like for busy moms. I had been assured that praying in the shower {when I actually got one} would keep my relationship with Him going enough until I could keep my head above water so-to-speak and start having quiet time again. With my devotional for "busy moms" on my nightstand and weekly church services I would make it. "This is just a season of life." I told myself.
Having this knowledge made it easy for me to extend grace to other moms too. New moms would ask me how I fit it all in and I would say "God knows where you are. He understands. You'll get back to your quiet times eventually."
It pains me now.
I have often thought that I wish I could apologize to every mom I ever said that too or agreed with.
There is really no shame or condemnation associated with being a mom that "didn't have time" because it really is true that God understood where I was at. He knew perfectly well that I had a lot on my plate. Now I know that He didn't want me to spend time with Him just for His sake but because He knew I desperately needed it. I was weary and I needed Him to give me strength that only comes from waiting on Him.
We have a choice, every day, new baby or not. Our own strength or His? My strength only gets me so far and it's usually as far as not getting much accomplished and being exhausted. His strength carries me farther than I could dream of getting. His strength gets me to being the best mom I could ever be.
So, I would challenge you, whatever you do have time for in your day (checking email, even laundry) take a few minutes out of it to spend in God's presence seeking Him first. Read His Word and ask Him to give you wisdom. I promise you that what you get out of it will more than make up for a few more minutes of sleep. I really wish that someone had looked me in the eyes back then and told me truthfully "God knows what a busy season you are in and He is the only one who can sustain you through it."
Of course there is grace for those of us who have listened to the whispers of the enemy telling us that God understands how busy we are. We just start where we are. Instead of beating ourselves up we just fall on our knees in repentance and humility before an all-loving God. He waits with open arms to love on us and teach us how to be the best we can be each day.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Were you encouraged to just make it through motherhood? What are some ways you have been able to make time for God in your life?
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