For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5
One question that may come up for you in all of this talk about you really being a good mom is how about when you are really not a good mom? What about when you do yell at your kids and slam doors? What about when you sit them in front of the TV for hours because you are just so tired that you cannot function? What about when you cannot muster up any desire to spend time with them one on one, on their level, because there is just so much laundry and cleaning to do and it never stops?
Of course, we first have to look at our definition of a bad mom and they may be different for each of us. We often hold ourselves to really high standards and offer far more grace to others. We would tell the tired mom that she really should take a nap but we might feel guilty if we took one our self.
Being a good mom should never be defined for you by someone else. It should only be defined by what God has called you to do in your family, for your children (and with your husband in unity). The primary goal should be for your family to bring God glory. If you are living life, seeking God first and acknowledging Him then He WILL direct your paths toward being the good mom He called you to be. You can rest in that without any fear.
All of the things that make you think you are a bad mom are based on fear. Fear that you are messing up your kids. Fear that you cannot get everything done. Fear about what others will think about you. Fear that you are not spending enough time with your kids.
God convicts us gently with love. It’s His kindness that leads us to repentance.
Guilt and condemnation only lead us to fear and trying harder to do things in our own strength.
See the difference?
This is where taking our thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ comes in. When you do something that seems like a bad mom move and fear either motivated it or follows it, identify it as fear and condemnation and take the thought captive. Hold it there and shine the light of God’s truth on it.
And when you feel like you keep making bad mom moves then seek…don’t stop seeking God for wisdom. Ask Him to remind you who He created you to be, what your gifts are and even your limitations. Let Him wash over you with truth so that you can rise up in it.
This series is certainly not a means to quit making mistakes in motherhood. Because we are human we will continue to make mistakes. However, when we walk in truth and freedom from lies that keep us in a bad mom mentality we will overcome in so many ways and we will grow into the good moms that we are called to be.
When it really seems that you are a bad mom you are covered with the goodness of God. He meets all of your needs, ministers to your children in their needs and causes it all to work together for good.
So when you make a mistake, instead of beating yourself up with a bad mom lie, take that thought captive and remind your self that there is grace. Remind yourself that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you, including repent and get back up again and try again. Although, if you get knocked down you may just want to stay on your knees for a little while so that you will be filled up with strength to make it through your journey.
Next week we’ll discuss letting God define for each of us what being a good mom really looks like and how we can work towards goals so that we can actually see fruit in our lives.
I'd like to give you an assignment this week: Ask your mom or your grandmother (or another older woman that you respect) if they saw them selves as a good mom or not and ask them why or why not. Ask them if their house was always clean when they had little kids. Ask them what the important things really were now looking back. I'd love to sit in on each of these conversations. I believe that we can learn so much from older and wiser women!
I'm praying for you in this journey. I desperately hope that truth becomes our close friend and leads us on with hope in our mothering. I pray that every lie that has kept us bound is revealed and that we walk in victory because truth sets us free!