Opportunity- 5 Minute Friday

I'm doing something I've never done before and linking up with The Gypsy Mama (who has the most amazing blog that blesses moms over and over) for 5 Minute Friday.  The point is to write for 5 minutes about a prompt that she gives and then stop. Here is what is on my heart right now:






Sometimes I wonder if our eyes aren't so open to the idea of being recognized that we cannot see in our peripheral vision that we have a platform right where we stand.

We often want a platform and a microphone to broadcast our message and our gifts and our talents but we often don't choose to take the opportunity to serve where we are.  It's not about the many that hear the message. It's about the one.

The one at the grocery store or the little one at your feet.  After all, the message is love and it's all about Him, not you, not me. Not greatness in you but the greatness of God.

He can be big in you when you are bowed low and serving or He can be small in you when you are seeking your own stage.

I want to capture these moments and let Him be all the platform I ever have. 

STOP

That's all 5 minutes got me.  If you are a blogger do you link up with The Gypsy Mama? If so leave me a comment with your post.  I'd love to read it! If you aren't a blogger but want to read some great posts then visit 5 Minute Friday here.

My Journey to Health Part 2

In case you missed it you can read part one here.  Now on to part 2: 

I began to do more reading and searching about my symptoms and made a doctors appointment with a different doctor than the ones I had seen.  She specializes in hormones and I thought that might help me (I still haven't seen her though because I had to reschedule to appointment and her wait list is long).

The more I read the more I was convinced that I was having adrenal fatigue that was probably caused by a yeast overgrowth in my body and well, it just made sense.  I am a mom and what mom isn't busy?  I had given birth to 7 children in 10 years and was either pregnant or nursing for most of that time.  And I was a typical mom in that I looked after everyone else and put myself last in many ways.  I ate after everyone else had their food, spent most of my time and energy on my family and my house,  wasn't exercising consistently, had a sugar craving that was killer, was eating organically and healthy but with lots of not-so-healthy thrown in too.  And I didn't stop.  There was too much to do in a day.  I would nap when I was worn out but beat myself up for not having spent the time more productively.

All of this was not helping me.  My body was crying out to be taken care of and I was ignoring it and hoping that it would go away.

Then God reminded me that I was a temple and asked me to do something drastic: Take care of myself.

I fought him on this. I really did.  Mainly because He was asking me to give up some pretty tough stuff like lattes and sugar.  I fought but He showed me that I relied on lattes to get me through the day most days.  "Do you want to live your life bowing down to lattes that control you?"  I needed them! "Do you want sugar to have this hold on you?"  No, I really didn't.  The only thing I wanted to have control in my life is God and I had to do a very hard thing and take these things out of my diet (for now).

It's hard.  Most days I could just cry that I can't have a gluten-free cookie or drink a latte.  I would love to have regular salad dressing or eat ice cream on occasion.  But this is what is required of me for right now and it is helping.

I am also honoring my body by making sure I am getting the vitamins and nutrients I need.  I take supplements and the ever-awful cod liver oil which has vitamin D and Omega 3s that my body desperately needs.

Oh, and I'm exercising! 6 days a week I am alternating cardio, yoga and strength training. I'm liking the results of this too!

I am giving myself more permission to rest, take breaks, have fun and do what I love.  I have also quit spending all of our clothing budget on the kids (when you have 6 it doesn't spread far) and have been buying more clothing for myself (and letting go of the guilt for doing so).

I am not 100% yet but I am being obedient and God's got me.  He is always faithful to lovingly point out anything in me that is in the way of His perfect plan for me and I love Him for it.  He asks me to do hard things but then tells me to lean into Him when I am weak and He becomes my strength.  I can do this. Because He says I can!

Thank you all so much for your kind words and encouragement on my journey.  I so appreciate it and am so thankful for the lessons learned.

Have you ever experienced a trying time with your health?  What got you through it? Are you taking good care of yourself?  If not you really should!

My Journey to Health

I promised more of my story on my health issues and here goes.

For over a year and a half now I have been having issues with heart palpitations and shortness of breath.  An ER trip, just about every test my doctor could think of, and a cardiologists battery of tests, couldn't figure out what was going on with me.

So I went on with life frustrated at not having answers and determined to find some.  I altered my diet almost weekly trying to find the thing(s) that set it off.  My hormones seemed out of whack and I thought that might be the cause.  No matter what I did it kept happening off and on.

During this time I read about my symptoms and they sounded like they could have been mini panic attacks.  The first one I had was more major and I felt like I was having a heart attack but after that they were much less intense.

The thought that I was having panic attacks really felt impossible and, honestly, humiliating for me.  I didn't feel like I was the type to panic and didn't even really feel prone to fearing much.  I trusted God for so much and was closer to Him then ever. So, I couldn't wrap my brain around the whole panic attack explanation.

I didn't realize that God was wanting to do a deep (and I mean deep) work in my heart in hidden areas that I didn't even realize were there. He began to reveal areas of fear that I had no idea were there.  Fear that I couldn't "do all things" like His Word says that I can.  It wasn't a blatant, in your face, fear but a hidden "I just can't do that" kind of fear. 

I also discovered that I feared a lot of big things like not being a good mom.  I feared not raising my children well and not being a good wife.  I feared what other people thought of me.  I feared a lot more too like blogging vulnerably and sharing some of my greatest failures and the ways I have overcome them as I felt God was leading me to.

God did this amazing work and revealed all these ways I was fearful and went to work on building my trust in Him and teaching me about peace.  He is good like that.

But then, this year, these "attacks" got worse and I was in bad shape.  I mentioned that I was on the couch or in bed managing my kids for a little while.  Anything I did seemed to make my heart pound and my my breath short.

A new work was about to take place in my heart...


Come back tomorrow for the rest of the story!

Being a Mom Who Has Peace

The kids are at it again with the fighting.  The littlest ones are creating messes that will take far longer to clean than they did to make.  On top of it all you cannot seem to find the time to get anything done and the chaos is overwhelming.


How can you have peace in the midst of it all? Come join me today over at Our Family For His Glory where Jessica {who has 5 girls and one boy just like me} has graciously allowed me to share. If you stop by leave a comment and let me know you have.

Have a blessed day!

Good Mom Week 11: In Conclusion...

This week is bittersweet for me.  This will be the last post in the How to Really be a Good Mom Series. I, myself, have learned so much through this journey? You?

In case you missed any of them you can find them here.

Week 1: The Most Important Step
Week 2: Assured of Who He Is
Week 3: Knowing Who You Really Are
Week 4: Being a Good Mom? Relax, It's Easy
Week 5: How to Shrink Your Problems
Week 6: The Bad Mom Mentality Is All About Fear
Week 7: But What About When You Really Are A Bad Mom?
Week 8: How to Keep Priorities In Order
Week 9: Permission to Take Care of Yourself
Week 10: Selfish Ambition vs. Serving

Thank you for joining us on the journey!  I pray that you have overcome the bad mom mentality like I have.  It's a journey and a process but it's so much easier now to recognize the accusing thoughts that used to send me into a downward spiral of bad mom-ness.

So what do I want to leave you with? I hope that you remember that the reason you are a good mom is because God called you to be a mom and He says that you are good.  In remembering that, I hope that you feel compelled to run to Him and let Him be your source of goodness.

Moms all over the world will try to tell you what to do and how to be the best but really only God knows best what is right for you and your child(ren).  He knows the hairs on your head and theirs, and He knows how to best discipline and encourage them.  He knows how to strengthen you and what you need to learn along the way.  So listen to your friends advice but seek God first about how to handle mommy issues.  Let Him be your source and your truth.

Moms need to learn to become clingers.  Clingers to grace and truth.  What we do is HARD and from what I can tell there is no easy way around this job.  We all look for the quick fix and formula that is magical but it really doesn't exist.  We must be committed to doing this job and doing it well, which means doing hard work.  To do the hard work we need to cling to our Strength Giver tightly.  We need to daily surrender and let Him be strong where we are weak.

So tell me, Do you feel like you are overcoming feeling like a bad mom?  Are there any questions you have or is there anything that prevents you from really believing that you are a good mom?

Now that we are concluding the Good Mom series you can bet I will continue to share what I learn along the way in my journey to freedom from a bad mom mentality.  AND I'm turning this little series (that I hope you have found encouraging) into an eBook.  I'll be working on that this Summer and will be adding new content to it and expanding on some of it.  I'll keep you posted on when the eBook will be available.

Thank you SO much for joining me on this journey!! I pray rich blessings over you!

The Purpose of Pain

We don't care for pain.  We don't like to hurt.  And yet refining usually requires pain. Jesus desires our refinement more than He does a pain free life.  It is worth it to Him for us to go through hard things because He knows how the things we haven't dealt with, the scars, and the lies, are turning our hearts dark and cold.  

And that is just Love.  Love beyond imagination. That He wouldn't leave us there with cold and dark hearts.

Too often I cry out in the midst of painful circumstances for God to take them away.  I think I should be praying "God don't let up until all of the brokenness, all of the lies, all of the dead and lifelessness in my heart is pruned back for new life to begin."

I should pray "God give me endurance, give me grace, but keep me in this pain until every thing you want to accomplish is done.  Don't ever let me leave a place of pain without Your work having been completed in me."

A good God allows us pain and He is right there beside us in it.  If you are hurting ask Him to show you where He is in the midst of it.

If you are hurting now He is close.  How can I be praying for you? You can leave a comment or contact me with an email.  I would love to lift you up in prayer.

Good Mom Week 10: Selfish Ambition vs. Serving

Don't be selfish; don't live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself.  Philippians 2:3

Very recently God has done a fresh work in my heart regarding serving my family.  I believe that for a long time I have just been trying to keep my head above water with all that is involved in being pregnant, nursing, raising little ones and bigger kids (throw in lots of cleaning, schooling, moving, and lots more too).  A mom has a busy life and rarely gets breaks.

But I look at Jesus and how He was training up disciples and He came to serve and not be served (Matt 20:28).  It can seem as though we don't have a choice as to whether or not we serve our families.  It may feel like we are forced to whether we want to or not but we have a choice.

We can go through the motions and do what good moms do.  We can take care of our children's needs and help out our husbands. But we can do it all without really serving them. We can do it all to serve ourselves.


We serve ourselves in it by seeking our own good: our own reputation, our own pleasure, our own success...

Or

We can lay ourselves down while truly considering others as better than ourselves. 

The scripture above in Philippians 3 has really grabbed my heart.  Another version says to do nothing through selfish ambition or conceit.  I think this can be a big problem for moms because we compare ourselves to each other and try to be the best.  We can loose focus on what our responsibilities are and miss ministering to our husbands and children and hearing their hearts in our quest to become "good moms."  We can forget that we are here to serve and not to be served.

If we will choose to serve our families while laying down our own selfish ambitions it will help us to stay focused on what really matters and we can become really good moms. 

Do you see the difference between working for your family and serving them?  Have you identified any selfish ambitions that you have like I did?  I am amazed at the amount of joy that comes from choosing to lay down selfishness and truly serve my family.  I decrease and that gives way to an increase of more of the Holy Spirit's power in my life.  And His fruit is so sweet!

*Remember that serving your family well means taking care of yourself too!

Learning to be Weak

Today's begun as a rough day for me. Don't feel too sorry for me though.  I am pretty sure it's just hormones. But when those hormones are shifting the weight of the world seems to come with them.  Everything that was fine yesterday seems so far from fine today.

So why do we go through hard things?  Why do we suffer with illness or pain or loss?  Why do we go through financially hard times?  Why do we feel lonely? I think it's because God wants all of us.

I mentioned yesterday that I don't like to be weak.  I am learning though to embrace my weakness because it's what drives me to need Him.  It's where I end and He begins.

We cannot control what happens to us.  We cannot control how little or much it hurts.  We cannot keep it from being hard.  We can, however, choose to be weak.

For a moment just be okay with being weak and helpless.  This is where I am at right now: weak. Helpless.  I keep pressing in and clinging and learning to rest.

I keep thinking I am going to be reprimanded for whining about how I feel or get in trouble for not being strong enough to handle everything but then I remember that He brought me here.  He said He's got me and He's asking me to be weak.  To let Him prove that He is strong.

It's not a passive weakness though.  No, we choose to wallow in our grief and pain or to be still and cast our cares on Him. I only actually let Him be strong in my weakness when I trust in Him. And He can handle me not having it all figured out or getting frustrated when I don't.

Remember I said I think we go through tough things because God wants all of us?  Yes, He wants us to mature, to be strong in Him, to be overcomers... but He also wants our weakness.  It's part of us and He wants that part too.

Are you feeling weak in any areas today?  Ask your heavenly Father to be strong in your weakness and teach you that it's okay to be weak.

How Suffering Can Be Serving

I’ve been in this place lately.  It’s not an awful place but it has been hard.  I haven’t shared any of it here really but it’s time now to share.

I don’t like to be weak.  I never have.  But weakness rarely asks before it takes over. 

For about two months now I have been dealing with health issues that had my heart palpitating like crazy and I felt out of breath a lot.  It’s happened before and the doctors have always said I’m fine and they cannot find anything wrong.  So I cut out caffeine and sugar and scour the Internet for what might be wrong with me.

I find conflicting answers and I really don’t know what to do to make myself better and all the while I am weak.  Did I mention I don’t like to be weak?

I spend days lounging and praying and trying to direct 6 kids lives from the couch or my bed.  I commit to go to bed early every night and cut out all grains (I’m already gluten-free).  Some days I feel better and some days I feel worse.

I haven’t mentioned it yet but during this time I am clinging with all of my might to my God. I am reading His Word and letting Him hold and comfort me as I seek answers.

He tells me I’m okay and He’s got me and I lean heavier into Him.  I wonder if I am dealing with oppression or if the enemy is just having a hay day with me and God gives me a vision of His outstretched arm with His hand on a squirming, and trying to get free, enemy that has his gaze on me.  I am assured “I’ve got you and he can’t get to you.”

So I rest and I praise but I still am weak and feel craziness in my chest.

I cannot do a thing to change my circumstances.

And through it all I feel the weight of this season in life.  It’s a hard season. It’s a suffering season.  And I think long and hard about what it means to join in Christ’s suffering.  We are supposed to and we are never offered pain free, or problem free, lives.  And suddenly I am overwhelmed by the revelation that my suffering is a chance to serve. 

This astounds me. In my pain, my frustration, my difficulty, I can serve by doing this well.  By clinging, by agreeing with God’s truth and praising no matter what.  By having faith that He has overcome and I will share in His victory. 

I think of Jesus and how he bowed low and washed feet, served His friends the bread and wine, served us with His life and breath.  He suffered and serve me, served us.  And His story is what brings me healing and hope and joy and peace... His story of suffering serves to bring me freedom.

I now serve by allowing God to use my story for His glory.

I serve by sharing my weaknesses and letting you see His power in them.  

For everyone who needs to hear my story to be encouraged, to be healed, to be free…I am serving you.  And now willfully so.  I choose to accept my call to serve even if it means I must suffer some.

I have begun to get better and I am not afraid anymore.  When God takes us through a wilderness He is always preparing us for what He wants to do next and for me, I needed to learn to not be afraid and to bow low and serve with a willing heart, even in suffering.  

How about you? What are you going through right now?  Are you in a difficult season? Can I challenge you to cling with all of your might and also to remember this is your opportunity to serve all who come behind you and hear your story?

More of my story to come…

Good Mom Week 9: Permission to Take Care of Yourself

You don't really need permission to take care of yourself but moms have this way of putting themselves off to meet all of the other needs around them.  I have found, though, that you cannot really be a good mom if you don't make a focused effort to take good care of yourself. So, I want to give you permission.  Let me be the one who encourages you to make it a lifestyle habit to love yourself so that you can love others well.

So what does it look like to take care of yourself? After {almost} 15 years of marriage and 6 children I am still learning how to do this well. Years of not taking very good care of myself have caught up with me and recently I have had some health issues that have forced me to reevaluate and actually make more time for myself.  

In seeking health, I have discovered some things I can do to make sure that I am strong and ready to handle what will come my way.  Here are some of the ones that I feel are most important:

Really Resting
This year, for me, is about rest. I have been seeking what it means to really rest.  My body needs it, my soul and spirit need it too. So I am making sure to observe the Sabbath day of rest,  I am no longer using caffeine as a false way to feel rested, and I am taking naps and sleeping more when I am tired.

I am choosing to listen to the signs my body gives me instead of fighting them because there are so many other things to do.  I'm letting other things go so that I am rested and refreshed and I'll tell you what, It has made a HUGE difference in my patience level and how I am to handle what arises in my day.

Another way I am resting is by giving God the first part of my morning, even if it's just 5 minutes. This is true rest.  I praise Him and cast my cares on Him.  When I start my day by giving Him my worries, I am choosing to rest in Him and not in my own strength.

Pursuing Your Gifts
God gave you gifts for a reason and, even though this season of mothering is busy, you can {and should} use them {practice and sharpen them} now.  What do you love to do?  God is good in that the gifts and talents He gives us also bring us joy.  Find out what you love to do and give yourself permission to lay down work for a while and pursue them. You will be refreshed and energized and fulfilled.

Pursuing Friendships
I am choosing to pursue friendships more intentionally these days. Having moved halfway across the country nearly 3 years ago I had to leave behind some very dear friends that I love. I still treasure those friendships but I need those kinds of relationships here too.

We all need friends in our lives who we trust and who have our permission to speak truth to us. God doesn't call us to walk this life alone and motherhood certainly needs some cheerleaders.

Don't put relationships with other godly women off because you don't have time. They are vital to your health and your growth and they are worth pursuing!

Tending to Yourself
There are so many ways that moms, especially of young children, have to take care of their kids physical needs.  And we do, day in and day out.  But, I ask you, do you take care of yourself in the same way? This one is hard for me.  I tend to take care of myself with the left over time in the day that just happens to be when I am exhausted and ready to just crawl in bed. 

I am making a renewed effort to give myself facials, make my nails look nice, and take time to do my hair and makeup in new ways.  It helps me to feel better about myself throughout the day and not feel so behind on these things that I don't even get started.  Plus, as and added benefit, your husband will be happy to see that you are making an effort to look nice and take care of yourself!


Putting as Much Thought Into What You Wear as You Do the Kids Clothing
Maybe you don't have this problem but, for me, I tend to purchase my kids cute clothes as often as they need them and dress them well, but when it comes to myself the money has often run out so I have the same old stuff.  It's easy to feel guilty as moms anyway for doing nice things for ourselves when there are so many others looking to us to take care of them.  I have had to start setting more money and time aside to purchase clothing for myself.  My kids don't miss the extra clothes and I feel better about myself.

I also have a goal of getting dressed every day in something that is at least presentable.  This is a little more challenging when your babies are new {and give yourself grace} but as your kids get older take care of yourself by feeling good about how you look each day.



How about you? What are the ways you need to set aside time to really take good care of yourself?  Do any of the ones I mentioned above speak to you or do you have others? Can you let go of guilt {that certainly isn't of God} about taking time to take care of yourself?  Ask Him what you need to focus on and let Him fill you with the truth.

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