Where My Pride Was
And what keeps a girl locked away in a cage of perfection? Pride. Pride is what causes you to depend on yourself. To attempt to have everything together or at least appear that way. It seems a little twisted because we usually think of pride as a puffed up person who openly admits they are amazing. But pride can be in caring more about what other people think of you than what God does, or it can hide in trusting in your own strength to do what is impossible for you.
I am a bit overwhelmed that the moment. God has been so gracious and I am almost in tears as I contemplate the deep workings that have happened in my heart the past few months. I consider the open heart surgery God did on me, because of the issue of pride, to be the greatest goodness of them all.
The most amazing thing is that I didn’t do a thing except to be willing to let Him show me where I was lacking and where I needed Him most.
It all started with a challenge at church one evening. “Where do you have pride in your life?” Those are the places that you hold on to the reigns of your life. I knew where my pride was. It was in the place of refusing to need others. Refusing to admit weakness. Refusing to be wrong.
And I broke.
Repentance came easily as I saw myself through God’s loving eyes. He only wanted to heal me from the blockages that pride created in my heart. He only wants to do the surgery because He loves me so deeply and wants ALL of Him for me.
And He invaded the spaces was pride had been. Grace covered and filled in the cracks and He has taken me to a new place of true humility.
Pride is the blockage that slowly kills us. It keeps us from trusting Jesus with our whole hearts. It depends on our own strength. All you have to do is be willing to let the Lord put his finger on the places in your life where pride has taken root. Once you identify them, repent and He makes all things new.